The Book of Gabriel
Grim Richard
PROSE
In 1999, Grim Richard began writing a book for his unborn son. His goal was simple - to pass on all the really good advice to his son before he chickened out, matured into a responsible adult or both. Funny and provocative!
From the introduction:
Gabriel,
I ?began ?writing ?this ?book ?for ?you ?when ?you? were ?about 16 ?months old ?and? it ?should ?be ?read ?some time? after ?you reach ?puberty, ?regardless ?of? whether ?you? consider? me ?a dork?at ?that ?time. ?I? realized? your? life? might? run? more smoothly ?if?I? made? a ?list? of? the? shortcuts,? hard earned lessons ?and ?family? anecdotes ?I’ve? gathered ?over ?my ?vast years ?of ?wizened? experience.? Generally ?speaking,? that’s what? this? book ?is ?about.
Specifically, ?it ?contains? invaluable? information ?about lucky? pennies,? using? pickup ?lines? on ?women,? Sea Monkeys, ?buying? drinks ?for? the? aforementioned ?women and,? as? I’ll? explain? more ?fully ?later,? nudist? camp? etiquette.
Some? of? the? advice ?contained ?will? seem ?tragically ?unhip. Forgive? me. ?I? was ?born ?prior ?to? the ?Internet; ?I ?can’t? help it.